"I apologize, and I really mean it this time..."

We have all heard many apologies, whether big or small, passionate or flippant. If we are human, we have all given them at one time or another; some we meant, some we didn't. Apologies have become as common as "Thank you" or "Good night"... as abundant as greasy fries at a fast-food drive-thru.

In order to conceptualize the act of apologizing, one must understand the action of salvation:

If I have sinned against my brother I must go to him and apologize; if my brother has sinned against me I must forgive him as my Lord has forgiven me.

“But I tell you that anyone who is angry with his brother will be subject to judgment. Again, anyone who says to his brother, 'Raca', is answerable to the Sanhedrin. But anyone who says, `You fool!' will be in danger of the fire of hell. 23. "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you,  24. leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift.” Mathew 5:24-25

What does it mean to apologize? How do I reconcile with my brother?

Literally, an apology is made up of three parts:

• 1. An acknowledgment of sin - Psalms 32:5 Matt. 5:23 “remember that your brother has something against you”
• 2. With an expression of regret, contrition or repentance - 2 Corinthians 2:7 Matt. 5:24 “First, go...”
• 3. And a plea for reconciliation - Matthew 5:24 “and be reconciled to your brother.”

The Scriptures command, in the above verses in Matthew, to be reconciled with your brother whom has aught against you; there is, however, a common deception in today’s modern Christianity concerning this very subject: it denotes that one may use the act of apologizing as the reconciling tool to 'smooth things over'. It is not that the apology itself is wrong, but if I say that what I did was wrong, I had better believe that I did such a thing and that it was indeed wrong, that I am not simply patronizing the other party with a condescending 'apology'.

What is a false apology? Unlike the true apology, the false 'apology' is best described as a sort of ‘social gratuity’; it is not given out of true contrition, nor the stirring to make things right but out of obligation or for the sake of 'let’s all just say what we have to in order to get along'.

It is, in truth, a lie... given for the desperate appeasement of formulaic attempts to reconcile, spawned from the fear of man and the preservation of one's appearance.

In direct contrast, the true apology leads to the edification of the Body of Christ and demonstrates the power and work of the Gospel in a true believer's life.

So, let us examine ourselves, to make sure that we have chosen true humility through the work of Christ, that we do indeed mean what we say when we apologize and that we are really attempting to restore that which was broken by our sin.

- Steven

We encourage you to email the author to prove or disprove, from the Scriptures, the intent, meaning, purpose or doctrine of this piece. email Steven